Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. (2 Corinthians 2:7 NIV)

We just discussed this truth: When we’re hurt by someone, we have a choice to make; will we move toward retaliation or resolution?

The Bible says we’re to settle our relationships with each other, consistently forgiving others and receiving forgiveness from others. (2 Corinthians 5:18; 2 Corinthians 2:7)

The power of God – working within us – means we’re no longer slaves to unforgiveness or bitterness. We can ask God to help us release any offender and find the courage to ask for forgiveness.

What now?

· Talk to God before talking to the person – Whether you have been offended or you are the offender, talk to God about the situation and receive his insight and direction. Center yourself on God and allow him to plant within you a deep, deep acceptance that all things really do work together for those who believe in his Father’s heart and in his incorruptible sovereignty.

· Ventilate vertically – Like David in the Psalms, use prayer to vent your frustration upward, rather than venting around you. If you’ve been offended, cry out to God, telling him exactly how you feel. He won’t be surprised or upset by your anger, hurt, insecurity, or bitterness.

· Confess your part of the conflict – In order to restore a relationship, begin by confessing any sins of your own that contributed to the broken relationship. Jesus says this will help you see things more clearly: «First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.» (Matthew 7:5 NLT)

· Always take the initiative – It doesn’t matter whether we’re the offender or the offended, Jesus told us to make the first move: «This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.» (Matthew 5:23-24 MSG)

© 2007 Jon Walker. All rights reserved.